I thought I had it all figured out..
I was so spiritual and evolved, man..
I was charting my own course through the waters of life..
Except.. My ship kept crashing onto the rocks.. Like pretty much every time.
I was a mess, my life was a long trail of broken possibilities, maybes, what ifs and what coulda beens…
I had always known there was a God and I liked Jesus.. I didn’t have a grudge against religion.. I had my own style of spirituality that I felt was “right for me”
A mix of ancestral traditions from my Celtic, Nordic and Lakota heritage, combined with esoteric studies like Tarot and Astrology.. I was big into astrology. In fact, I read created Birth Charts and did Astrological readings and was about 30 pages away from finishing writing a 150 page astrology book when… God decided He’d lost His patience with my esoteric prodigal meanderings and wanted to make sure I didn’t use the Gift He gave me for writing, to lead other people down the same misguided path.
So through a heavenly hailstorm of supernatural divine intervention, uncannily timed road blocks, wake up call health issues and Jesus themed coincidences that were too pervasive to deny, God got my attention and made it crystal clear that if I kept going down the road of Miss New-Agey, there was going to be big trouble ahead.
So I turned. I said “Ok God! You got me, I hear you loud and clear. You want me to be a REAL Christian right?”. Not a loosey goosey new agy hippie dippie ‘I dig Christ consciousness, hey do I know you from another life?” kinda person I had been so far.
Luckily I had had my dad as an example of a legit, Bible believing Calvary Chapel style expositional teaching, take the Bible literally kind of Christian... so I went all in.
“Ok God! I’ll do it your way! I’ll go full on fundamental Christian, ok?! Here goes!”
I got rid of all my new age stuff and astrology books and fell head over heels for Jesus. Abstained from relationships to deepen my relationship with Christ, moved to the buckle of the Bible belt - Chattanooga, TN - to really immerse myself in Christian culture so none of my Northern California hippie friends could derail or mock me..(it was election season 2016 and mock me they did!)
And so there I sat for a year in TN.. for the first time in my life - NOT PLANNING. Not planning! Wow.. . Just praying every single day. “Ok God, I'm all yours, what do you want me to do with my life? I’m a wreck , Ive made so many mistakes, Please forgive me for all the stupid choices I’ve made. I’m all out of ideas here.. I’ve tried everything I thought I wanted to do through my own will and life has knocked the wind right out of my sails, .. Please show me Your plan for me? What do you want me to do? I’ll do whatever you want, just SHOW ME!”’
Well, after a year of that, and going to church every week and really feeling fed spiritually by the sermons (Calvary Chapel Chattanooga is still one of THE BEST!) and the women’s group and not being out and about too much, praying for long hours at night, talking to God , just being with Him…
Whammo! One night it hit me.. In the middle of an epic prayer ramble about love and learning and heartbreak, God was starting to show me a coherency to the painful experiences I’d had in life.. I was starting to see a thread weaving them together that helped me understand how they were meant to shape me for a specific purpose and in the middle of that prayer and realization-
A Story, A Screenplay, A Movie! With Music! It came flooding into my mind and I realized I had to write it down.
Now, let me back up.. I grew up in the entertainment industry but as an adult, I never wanted anything to do with it. I basically spent my whole life just trying to get away from it, working on farms and with kids and elderly and animals and gardens and all that. Way out in the boonies or abroad.. Just not hollywood, No way uh uh.. No thanks.
But I was always super creative.. I just wasn't pursuing my real talents as anything other than a lukewarm hobby..
So when God hit me with a huge vision of an epic story that I knew I was meant to write into screenplay format .. a story that embodies the CS Lewis Quote “Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny” … And I could already hear the music that would be in it and I could already see the hearts that it could heal…
It suddenly all made sense.
Now that God knew I was ready to put my will aside and submit to HIS will and serve HIM, He wanted me to go back to the industry I grew up in and use the talents He blessed me with to Glorify Him and to restore people’s faith in a God who loves them, has a plan for their lives and has used every hardship in their life to shape and prepare them for the epic saga of purpose, redemption and beauty that can be our story if we surrender to His will and let Him lead.
But then I was like.. “Wait.. what? You want me to go back to LA?! After almost 20 years.. I can’t afford that! How on earth could I pull that of! I don’t have any connections or family out there anymore .. I mean.. How can I..? I can’t pull that off!”
And like Moses parting the red sea, God parted the waters for me with one mind blowing synchronicity after the next to bring me back to LA, to connect me with His emissaries who are here with the same purpose and like Jesus says in Matthew 6: 33, “Seek ye first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you “. Well, it’s true. God made a way. He rocked that way.. He makes the most Awesome ways to get to where He wants us..
“Where God guides, God Provides” That’s not just some cliche phrase on a plaque in a Christian book store. It’s 100% For Real!!
After a life of treading water in survival mode.
My decision to shift gears and seek God first, make my relationship with Him number 1 and take that whole year to pray and seek and ask and not plan.. And just Be and Listen...
He showed me how amazingly He can provide and has kept my bases covered better than I have ever experienced. I ALWAYS have everything I need and it just comes like manna from heaven, at always exactly the right time.. Sometimes He likes to wait till the very last minute.. Just to sort of see how strong our faith is.. But He ALWAYS comes through.
And so .. in a short matter of years I went from being a wandering stoner astrologer hippie wild child who was always scrambling to make ends meet, who dreaded waking up every morning because she didn’t know what she was waking up for and who was plagued by regret and longing and sorrow about all the things that could have been, not knowing her purpose and searching everywhere for some kind of lasting answer..
To a passionate Screenwriter, Songwriter Artist for God who loves to wake up every morning with excitement and joy and a heart overflowing with gratitude and excitement, firmly rooted in her purpose and aim on this planet, who is rapidly connecting with many fellow creators in the Faith Based Film and Media arena and so many blessings come her way all the time, it’s incredible!!!
And the best part about it all is that even though this epic journey has only just begun...
God prepared me for every part of this in all the years that I was away from Him..
Just like He’s been preparing you…
Are you ready to find out His awesome purpose and plan for your life and to see all the broken pieces of your past be mended and healed and come together to create an epic story of grace, redemption, forgiveness and love?
If He can do it for me, He can do it for anyone..
I can’t wait to see how your story will unfold.
Wanna know more?
Just reach out to me and let’s talk!